FUTUREWORD PUBLISHING ANNOUNCES FIRST NONFICTION TITLE

“SERVAL SON: Spots and Stripes Forever” will debut September 1st

Seattle WA (PRWeb) FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE     Today the President of FutureWord Publishing, Cheryl Haynes, announced the pending
September 1^st release of “SERVAL SON: Spots and Stripes Forever” a new book by author Kristine M. Smith, a lifelong animal advocate
with decades of combined experience as a wildlife rehabilitator, captive wild animal caretaker, veterinary assistant, and humane educator.

Haynes’ announcement reads in part, “As I was looking [the manuscript] over, I thought how much the book is needed in zoos, wildlife parks, school and county libraries. The book is not just educational; it is packed with familiar flashbacks to the emotional attachments we all have with our own pets.”

Author Smith has raised and nurtured nearly every kind of small animal native to the Pacific Northwest and most species of domestic and farm animals. But it was raising Deaken—an African serval cat—from the age of five days old until his death at 17 which she considers the epitome
of her animal-enriched life.

Smith says, “I wouldn’t have missed it for the world—and I would never do it again. It was, at once, the most heartwarming and the most traumatic 17 years of my existence. Raising a wild one isn’t an undertaking for half-hearted impulse buyers. Raising a happy, healthy wild animal—keeping it safe from people and people safe from it—requires complete attention, nerves of steel, and an insane amount of good luck. We are responsible for all we tame. Most who attempt fail miserably and end up abandoning the animals they pledged to love and care for. Animal sanctuaries are overburdened with the sad results: abandoned cast-offs, looking for owners they’ll never see again.’”

The book—Smith’s sixth to date—does not advocate the keeping of wild pets, especially wild cats, wild dogs and simians. To the contrary, for the many reasons the author explains and has endured, Smith is opposed to wild animal ownership for most people. She forewarns, “The
commitment is brutal, the risks enormous, the memories indelible—good and bad.”

The book has been endorsed by several high-profile animal advocates including Tippi Hedren (Shambala Preserve/ROAR Foundation) and Vernon Weir (American Sanctuary Association) and will be available at Amazon.com and at FutureWord.net on September 1^st. Not long after, it will be
available at all online bookstores and on Kindle™. It measures 6 x 9 and will be perfect bound.

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Futureword Publishing publishes award-worthy fiction, non-fiction and children’s books. Find out more at FutureWord.net
or Amazon.com.  Kristine M Smith is an animal advocate and a Top 10 copywriter at Elance. Reach her at kristinemsmith@msn.com or kristinemsmith.biz

Please help me send it up the flagpole at Amazon by ordering it on Sept 1st. The more people who order on that day, the higher up on the Amazon list it will go.  Great thanks!

A good writer is someone who is completely unapologetic about the blast they’re having!!!

Bottom line: If writing is painful to you, maybe you shouldn’t bother trying to become a writer… or even a better writer.  I quit trying to be better at math decades ago because it made me miserable and I have survived. If writing is a pain, you can stop doing it and survive, too.  I promise. You really can! 

When I teach writing,  students often look to me like they’re just moments away from undergoing root canal. They do not look happy.

So I’ve been telling students for quite a while now: “Put the critic away completely and let your child out in the sandbox to play.  Your child has no qualms about doing anything wrong – she’s so in the moment, focused happily on what she’s ‘communicating’  while playing that the last thing on her minds is ‘Am I doing this right? Could I be doing this better?’”

Today I got a newsletter from my insurance agent, Kim McKendry. On the front page was her report of learning the art and science of scuba diving.  I was with her every step of the way.

From the first word to the last, you could tell Kim was having a blast telling ”me” (actually “us,” all of her clients, but it felt like she was talking to me alone from across a kitchen table) about her lessons and about her first fascinating-but-frigid dive into Puget Sound. I was enthralled — and scuba is not one of those things I’d normally get all that enthralled about! (Sharks and I are natural enemies. I think I must have been a sea otter in an earlier life.) 

Kim’s joy was in every sentence and, because it was, she’s a great writer.  Oh, sure, she knows the rules of the road, too, so none of her sentences or segues were knobby or uncomfortable. But that stuff can be learned, and finessed, later– when we allow our Critics back into the room to smooth things out. You can read Kim’s story yourself by going to www.mckendryinsurance.com and clicking on Go Green to get the newsletter electronically.

I see people stopping themselves ALL THE TIME when they’re writing. I used to do it myself. STOP THAT!  The best thing you can do while writing is to forget the rules (or stop bothering yourself about whether you know them all) and just GO FOR IT!

Go for whatever is driving the story you want to tell. If it’s a love story, let the love out.  If it’s a story about anxiety, let the anxiety out in a way that others can feel.  If it’s about your product or service, turn yourself loose to explain what it will do for the people who avail themselves of the opportunity.  Don’t make it about “selling…” Make it about “telling” in a way that brings out your own excitement and passion for the topic.

This is one reason I only bid on projects at Elance that fire my passion in several directions all at once.  Although I can’t get wildly excited about brake linings or motorcycle helmets, I can get very excited about how vital they are:they save lives when they’re working properly!  That’s something I can wrap my passion around…

Another of my mantras is “show, don’t tell.”  This doesn’t work in every instance, but when it does, it brings the reader in to experience the circumstance or the event.  Read “The Help” if you haven’t already since I recommended it recently.  You’re THERE because the writer is invested in putting you there.

If you love to write, go for it. If you don’t, it probably isn’t your calling and you WILL survive.  I wouldn’t survive without being able to write, I don’t think. It keeps me sane and allows me to be insane.  It’s a blessing.

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Visit http://almostfamousbydesfault.blogspot.com for my “anything goes” blog or http://kristinemsmith.biz for my business and book website.

PROS

• You get  much larger royalty payment percentages

• Self-publishing costs are (relatively) inexpensive, sometimes free

• Self-publishing doesn’t require warehouse space for printed books because they’re Print On Demand (POD); each book is printed (usually by Lightning Source, which prints the vast majority of all mass-market books in the US) and mailed to the customer as orders arrive

• Self-publishing lets you sell your book online at Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, etc. like traditional publishers

• Self-publishing companies offer formatting, book design and other services at a (relatively) low cost

• Self-publishing gives you immediate opportunities because you have a book in hand to show off, tell about, and offer to interested parties 

• You get to keep all rights so you can decide who gets “first dibs” on subsequent publication rights (reprint rights, excerpt rights, etc.) and — should Hollywood come calling — you can negotiate to get into the thick of things (if you want) and help choose screenplay writer, producer, director, actor, etc.

• Self-publisher companies will never reject your work.

RED ALERT! The PRO just mentioned can become a CON very quickly: If you’re so in love with your own words that you can’t spot any flaws until they’re all in print… ARGHHHH!!!! It’s hell on earth to have to live with knowing that your self-published labor of love would have been significantly better had you hired a second, more objective, pair of eyes to look it over and catch things you overlooked or did not see at all at because of your intimacy with the material or your level of readiness/ability to judiciously edit your own writing. Even the big guns hire editors, proofreaders and other folks to double- and triple-check their manuscripts. You should, too, before you go to the trouble and expense of self-publishing.

You can also publish your manuscript as an e-book (be sure you make it into a PDF file before you sell it online, to protect yourself as much as you can from piracy) or on your desktop for almost nothing. You can sell them via Clickbank, Payloadz.com and other venues for a very small service fee, or you can create a website for the book and handle it yourself, using Paypal.

CONS

• All formatting, editing, proofreading, design, etc. is your sole responsibility unless you farm it out for someone else or a trusted ally to do. (Expect to pay upwards of $40/hour to have a competent friend or ally do any of the above; $75/hour or more to have a professional editor and proofreader do the honors).

• ALL promotion must be done by you. (Even with a traditional publisher, this is true unless you’re big-name author like Stephen King, Dan Brown, JK Rowling, etc. and can get a motion picture company involved in touting the movie version of your book.)

• You have to buy an ISBN number in order to sell your book in bookstores; they can be costly

• You must register as your own publisher to receive an ISBN # (this takes time)

• Even though your book will be listed at Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other online booksellers, don’t  assume you’re going to sell a million copies and be able to retire; as time-consuming as writing the book was, your work has only begun upon actual publication — because now you have to put on your self-promotion hat and let your intended market know what’s in it for them.

 • ALL promotion – arranging for book signings, contacting news outlets with media (press) releases, requesting book reviews, etc. — is your responsibility as the author.

• You’ll be paying to buy your own books (at author cost) so you can sell them during personal appearances. Most self-publishing houses don’t offer many “complimentary” books when you publish with them. Some offer one or two; some offer ten… but they will all need to go out as review copies to influential reviewers, to family and friends, to your archive file… So expect to have to buy your own books in order to have them around when you want to sell them.

• Most bookstores will not host self-published authors, so book signings will have to be held elsewhere, cutting down mightily on any “walk by” traffic you would otherwise receive. But there are plenty of arts and crafts festivals held at parks and other public places, plus libraries, book conferences, and other venues where you can read excerpts and sell and sign books.

For more information about self-publishing, visit lulu.com, booksurge.com, iuniverse.com, authors-promotion.com/publishers.php , and publishing.booklocker.com.

Compare these book publishing companies’ offers to determine the best deal for your particular situation.

WP has more features, functions and options, for sure, but it’s no place for sissies, and I’m a bit of a sissy when it comes to blogging.

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Let’s forge onward now because who knows when I’ll figure out how to do this again anytime soon!

I’m writing for a couple of businesses right now whose owners seem to be angry people. They want to shout everything at people — “Don’t you get how important this is?!”  Their current business materials reveal their frustration.  One of them is even in ALL CAPS. This is a no-no. Nothing chases readers away more readily than ALL CAPS. Don’t do it!

ALL CAPS is a big mistake. No matter how benevolent or vital your product or service is, customers do not want to have it SHOUTED AT THEM!

I’ve had to actually bring this “anger management” issue to the attention of one of the clients; he took it  personally (DUH!); the other client “got it” as soon as I showed him how effective NOT being a bear can be. 

If you remember nothing else I share with you, remember this: The world is an abrasive-enough place just as it is. If you think adding to the static and the aggression in the world is going to sell your product or service, you’re dead wrong — unless you’re a trainer for terrorists. I presume you’re not. (If so, please go away. I do not like you. Even a little bit.)

Buyers want to buy reasonable products from reasonable-sounding people. Insurance is reasonable, as are security, on-line e-learning courses, and audio-video products. Yes, all are important, but none of them will ever get sold by guys or gals wielding sledgehammers.  Customers want to interact with friendly, helpful, engaging, peaceable folks; they sometimes have to deal with a Tyrannosaurus Rex, but not because they want to; it’s in their job descriptions. They don’t buy from them; they just tolerate them, then get as far away from them as possible, as soon as possible.

So, be kind. Just because you eat, breathe and live your product or service and know, to the core of your being, that it’s important for people to realize its width, depth and breadth, the best thing you can do is slow down, take a breath and realize that your prospective client needs information, not defamation, to make the wise decision and make you their “go to” service provider.

Your copy should hand them a virtual cup of coffee, allow them to settle in, and realize you’re there to help them, not to shove something down their throats. The intro can be brief, the benefits can come fast, but it all needs to resonate with your readers or they’ll turn away.

Make sense?

Normally, I won’t continue to work with angry businessmen, but I’m taming one of them and finding the very good heart, spirit and soul that animates him. I may not remain long with the other one; that remains to be seen. He’ll either “get it” or he won’t pretty soon.  Some people are chronically angry; not something I can “cure.”  This other fellow (with the good heart) was simply frustrated; nothing he was doing seemed to be working and he was giving it his all.  He feels much more relaxed and energized now — he sees the light at the end of the tunnel.  He’s de-escalated his frustration, recouped the energy it took, and is focusing it on getting more done on an upbeat side.

So if you’re trying to write your own stuff and your lower emotions — anger, rage, frustration, anxiety, etc. — are dragging you down, find a service provider who can do the work for you. Give them the facts, figures and stats and let them carry the ball. When you see the difference it makes, you’ll smile and start getting more in tune with why you started a business to begin with: to enjoy your day helping people help themselves.

The whole purpose of creative (and most other) writing is to convey a message, to entertain, and to be understood.

Read your sentences again after writing them to be sure they really say what you think they do. You might be surprised!

You’ve read all those hysterical church bulletins that circulate on the ‘Net, haven’t you? Here are just three of them:

Don’t let worry kill you – let the church help.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.

Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be “Little Mothers” will meet with the Pastor in his study.

Yeah, thought so…
Don’t over-use adjectives to embellish or color things.

The blurb on the back of your book is usually the most important thing of interest to people. It’s the “sales copy.”  Most won’t buy your book if the back isn’t riveting.

Your writing should usually be grammatically correct. Sometimes the exception to the rule works — but usually it doesn’t!

A  paragraph usually contains one thought/subject.

A paragraph usually includes three or more sentences.

Powerful paragraphs can have fewer sentences.

A short paragraph of less than three sentences is often used as a first paragraph in a piece. The first paragraph is your “hook,” your clincher. If  it doesn’t grab hold of your readers, they’ll slip away unless the piece is required reading — and then it can be a real drag. So take good care of your readers. Don’t write anything you wouldn’t love to read yourself. It’s in your telling of a tale where the magic appears… or disappears!

It takes special skill to use less than three sentences in a paragraph effectively.

Put the theme or topic sentence somewhere other than in the lead sentence in a paragraph to make it more interesting.

Your article, essay, etc. can have three or more paragraphs on the same topic.

Make it enjoyable to read. Make sure the tense, the person or persons (singular or plural) remain the same throughout the entire paragraph. (Don’t start out talking about ‘we’ and then end up talking about ‘I’.)

There are no rules on how many paragraphs to a story.

 Semi-colons

This is the #1 culprit of abuse in writing, so I’m repeating the rules here. 

Use a semi-colon where a period would work. A semi-colon links two complete sentences that express, in sequence, a connecting thought pattern.  The two halves of the sentences could stand alone but, for effect, they are often joined with a semi-colon.

Use a comma if there is a closer connection, but when you do, add a conjunction.

Also use a semi-colon before  transition words: however, therefore, but, etc.

Semi-colons help guide your readers’ thoughts. A semi-colon connects two sentences.

Example: “A warm rain began to fall; the children took off their shoes.”  (Same meaning as, “Because a warm rain began to fall, the children took off their shoes” or “The children took off their shoes because a warm rain began to fall.”)

 Variety of thoughts

How long should a sentence be?

Break up run-on sentences. Variety is the spice of life.

Sometimes breaking the rules adds “punch” but you really have to know what you’re doing to make that happen.

Parts of Speech

Noun            name of person, place, thing, idea. It is the who or what of a sentence. (shoe, tree, dog, Sally, etc.)

Verb             action or being word (all forms of to be)

                        The noun and verb are the backbone of every sentence.

Pronoun       takes the place of a noun (Pastor/he, Pastor/his, Mother/her, Sister/she, your, they, etc.)    Some work as the subject, some work as the predicate.

Adjective    describes noun or pronoun. Use sparingly, don’t overuse it.

Adverb         modifies the verb — how or how many?

Preposition  a position word (in, around, over, beside, under, etc.). It “never” appears alone (except in copywriting) and is always part of a phrase thats ends with a noun or pronoun.

Conjunction   connecting words (and, but, etc.)

Interjection   worthless word inserted into a sentence. Interjections are almost always followed by an exclamation mark (Oh, no! Yes! Gee! Goodness!). They aren’t used much.

Article           a, an, the

Expletive: “&*%$!!!”  Profane, vulgar language. Not used much (please!) except in R-rated and X-rated action-adventure movies!

Commas    The rule — use as few as you can get away with!   The use of commas depends on what you want to convey.

 Agreement of person   One horse, it runs. Two horses, they run.

If subject is in present tense, be sure verb is, too.

Now, check over your present piece and see if it all complies with the above.

Fill in the blanks using the words you see above each of the sentences.

 their, there, they’re

 _______ over ____, writing _____ essays.

 Are, our

 _____ you coming to ____ barbeque on Saturday?

 Lead, led

 Get the ____ out and study your Bible, before you’re ___ astray.

 Assure, insure, ensure

 I can _____ you, we’ll be able to ____ you fully with an umbrella policy.

 Advice, advise

 She was quick to _____ her new client, “The _____ I give you today will protect you in many ways.”

Anecdote, antidote

 The doctor shared an ________ about an ________ he once tried on a patient that resulted in a severe case of hiccups.

 Here’s a fun one!  Punctuate the following so it makes sense. (No demerits if you can’t do it. It isn’t easy!)

 THAT THAT IS IS THAT THAT IS NOT IS NOT IS THAT IT IT IS

Piqued, peaked, peeked (which two will fit in the first spot?)

As the rising sun _____ over the mountain range, my curiosity was _______ by the way it cast shadows on the valley below.

Laid, lay, lie

As I ___ down, I felt an urge to _____ to my spouse (who was _____ out before me like a dead horse) and tell him he looked irresistible.

wheel barrow, wheel barrel

The wheel _______ was old, rusted and crusted with dried cement

Here, hear

Come ____, my children, and you will _____ of the midnight ride of Paul Revere

Reeked, wreaked

After the tornado _______ havoc, the town _______ of death and destruction.

Now, I’m accustomed to getting positive feedback from clients at Elance. You can read a lot of it on my feedback page (http://kristinemsmith.elance.com/).

But once in a while someone pulls out all the stops — as this gentleman did — and blows me away.  I placed his comment near my monitor so I can see it. It makes me smile.

Today I got another one after submitting a first draft of four pages I wrote for another client.  Even better?  You decide.  No swearing in this one… but it means the world to me!

It reads, “You are a one of a kind genius. I love it, I love it, I love it.  These writing pieces are equivalent to paintings by Da Vinci. I had an instinct about you that you’ve very well confirmed 100%. Excellent job.” 

I can live for a month on emails like these.  I’ve started a little file of them. I should add some of the best ones from my feedback page at Elance, too… but it would take an hour or so and they’re already documented, so I’ll leave them where they are.

I love my clients. One of them is about to announce the publication and debut of her new non-fiction book. She’s a Christian counselor. She’ll be sending me two copies this week.  As soon as I have them in hand and get her go-ahead, I’ll announce her book here and provide a link to it and to her website.  I was her Editor-in-Chief on the book and will serve the same function on her forthcoming books, too.

It’s an exciting time! What are you doing today to make your writing dreams into realities?

The radio podcast will be live from 7 a.m. to 8 a.m. Pacific Time (10-11:00 A.M. east coast time). It’ll be available afterward, too, since it’s a podcast.

Amie wrote me about three years ago to thank me for writing the first book about De (HARVEST). She lives very near where he grew up. When he passed away on June 11, 1999, she said she felt very lost until she came across my book and was finally able to “meet” the man she had so admired. She wrote me a beautiful letter about what De and my book meant to her.

Now Amie is a communications major and a radio personality. Her program,  “Story with Amie,” issues from the radio station at her alma mater, Kennesaw State University. She has interviewed a lot of intriguing folks; you can read all about them at the KSU website. She also has a “Story with Amie” Facebook page, if you want to look that up and join in. (Let her know you’re a De fan!) 

I’ll be reading an excerpt or two from my first book. If you have any questions about De, writing, animals, or my books that you want her to ask me, let her or me know. There’s no call-in number and no chat room, so you need to ask us soon in order to have your question answered or your comment heard during the program.

I think that’s everything you need to know about the upcoming program. If not, shoot me a “comment” and let me know what I left out.  Thanks!

UPDATE: You can hear the interview here: http://ksuradio.com/2010/01/21/my-interview-with-kristine-m-smith-12010/

Hello!?

As you read compelling literature, you can learn to discern what it is about a piece that keeps you enthralled. I cannot figure out how anyone can become an exemplary writer without being a voracious reader (or listener on audio books or via stage and screen). I mean, that’s like presuming you can become a professional brain surgeon by opening up the first cranium you see and digging inside.

OK, so writing isn’t brain surgery. It won’t kill anyone if you do it poorly (unless, of course, you write a very poorly researched, so-called non-fiction piece and recommend cyanide and arsenic when you meant to recommend cinnamon and allspice).  But it is a science of sorts, as well as an art.

So if you want to write songs, study dozens of song sheets; if you want to write poems, read lots of poetry; if you want to write great literature, read great literature.  When you do, something happens. You begin to absorb cadences, rhythms, unspoken rules and insights that teachers may not know to tell you about — but recognize.

Case in point:

When I was in junior high (1964-65) I had an English teacher who told me that I was an excellent writer. Her name  was Alpha Rossetti. When she told me this, I was thrilled to my toes, because I was already a wannabe — I wanted to be an author.

When she said what she said, I immediately fired back, eyes dancing and heart fluttering, ”Teach me to be better!”

Her face fell just a little before she sighed and said, “I can’t.  I’m not a writer. But you are.”

Silly me! I figured that anyone who could recognize good writing could also teach it!  I felt bad that I had made her feel bad.

Not long after, she asked me to stay after class.

I did.

After everyone left, she pulled out a magazine and handed it to me. THE WRITER.  I had never heard of it in my little backwoods town (Cle Elum, Washington). My eyes lit up.  A grin split my face.

Then she pointed to the lower left hand corner. The address label read KRISTINE SMITH, STAR ROUTE 4 BOX 60, CLE ELUM WA. I looked up, confused…

She said, “I’ve subscribed to THE WRITER for you for two years. I wanted to do a little something to encourage and help you, and this is what I came up with.”

Tears flooded my eyes.  We were a poor farming family and $6 or $8 a year for a magazine only I would read was out of the question given the family’s meager budget. She knew that. And I have never forgotten it:  she was stepping out to champion my cause.

I read every issue, cover to cover, at least twice and referred to the articles afterward for years.

Hey, the magazine still exists, but of course costs more these days — and is worth every penny to you if you want to learn the ropes and write better.

Mrs. Rossetti began to save my “masterpieces” and read them to her classes for years. After she retired, she gave me the little bundle and her own copy of the revised PLAIN ENGLISH HANDBOOK by Walsh. Her signature is neatly inscribed on its front cover. I cherish it to this day.

Other people “in the know” took up my cause as the years passed. Ted Crail, author of The Pulitzer Prize-nominated APETALK AND WHALESPEAK (he was Creative Services Director at the Animal Protection Institute where I worked from 1981-1985) called me a “helluva writer” and actor DeForest Kelley began as early as my senior year in high school to give me a boost by submitting something I had sent to him (about meeting him that year) to TV STAR PARADE magazine in New York, which used the piece in their special holiday edition.

I don’t know if you have or had boosters and/or mentors. I had too few, but the few I had were instrumental in keeping me lifted up emotionally while I learned my craft.  If you don’t have one or more, be one to yourself. Half of the people who know you will think you’re tilting at windmills. Just smile, keep singing THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM, and keep going.  Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration (or determination),  a wise man once said. (Thomas Edison?).

Read the best. Let it wash over you and invade your DNA. At some point you’ll soak up enough to surprise yourself from time to time.  You’ll let your Child write something, come back later with your Critic, and discover that there’s nothing that needs to be added in or taken out.  You’ll amaze yourself. “Did I write that?”

Indeed, you did.  You and a few dozen of your favorite internalized wordsmiths…

Get ‘er done!

THE ELEMENTS OF STYLE by Strunk and White (a classic)

THE FIRST FIVE PAGES: A Writer’s Guide to Staying Out of the Rejection Pile by Noah Lukeman

NET WORDS Creating High-Impact Online Copy by Nick Usborne

EMOTIONAL STRUCTURE Creating the Story Beneath the Plot (guide for screenwriters) by Peter Dunne

EDITORS ON EDITING What Writers Need to Know About What Editors Do,  Editor: Gerald Gross

Anything by Dan Kennedy, Joe Vitale, Joe Sugarman, David Ogilvie or Robert Bly if you want to get into copywriting

When you know the rules and what people expect to see in a sentence, it’s time to strategically bend or break some of the rules along the way. Doing so startles, stimulates and convinces the reader when it’s done right.

Copywriters do it all the time. And they do it about as strategically as anyone can. Because they know what breaking the rules does. I just did it three times in this paragraph. Do you know where? More importantly, do you know why?

Teachers will instruct you never to end a sentence with a preposition (“about,” “above,” “across,” “after,” “against,” “along,” “among,” “around,” “at,” “before,” “behind,” “below,” “beneath,” “beside,” “between,” “with,” etc.) and never to start a sentence with ”and,” ”but” or “because.” That’s perfectly good advice in most cases.  But people don’t always talk in complete sentences and many aren’t particularly choosy about the words they end their sentences with.

I ended that last sentence with “with.” (Oops, I just did it again, but this time “properly.”) The reason I broke the rule is because most people don’t say, “But people don’t always talk in complete sentences and some aren’t particularly choosy about the words with which they end their sentences.”

Another example: Most people know that when they place themselves and another person — or a series of persons — into the same sentence, they should list the others before mentioning themselves (out of courtesy and as a sign of respect). Examples: “Jane and I ran to the beach.” “Joe, Jim, Larry and I had a great time at the movies.”  But it has become common (much as I hate to see it happening, and I correct my grand nieces ad nauseum whenever they do this) for people to say, “Me and Mike are going for a ride.” So there will be times when your fictional or real-life folks will break this rule because NOT breaking it would make the scene appear inauthentic and throw the reader into a state of disbelief.

Song writers are famous for swapping names…

“Good enough for me and my Bobbie McGee”

“Me and Mrs. Jones”

…as are regular folks, rural folks, folks from the ‘hood…

“Me and God”

“Me and my gang.”

I wish it weren’t so, but it is what it is. Sometimes, to make a scene authentic, you have to break the rules to make the reader believe that the tale you’re telling or the report you’re giving is legitimate.

Mark Twain was a master storyteller. He wrote in the slang of the common folks he met along the Mississippi River as a youngster, as a riverboat pilot later on in life, and as a silver miner in the Old West. When you read his books, you know he was there: he uses the vernacular of racist southerners and hard-drinking miners. His yarns ring true, even though (according to Tom Sawyer) “there was some things he stretched, but mos’ly he tol’ the truth…” 

Knowing the rules is vital, but becoming  a slave to them will hobble you and make you appear removed and more Mr. Spock-like than most of your readers want you to be.

There aren’t a lot of Vulcans out there. There are only slightly more schoolmarms and literary taskmasters. So know the rules, but don’t be afraid to break them if breaking them will get you to your goal: to captivate, convince and carry your reader deeper into your web of intrigue.